I told a guy at work I liked him

2.  Rich

I worked at a law firm for a couple of years but then got laid off. Thank you economy.  I then went on to work doing temporary work, after sitting at home for almost six months wondering how to juggle my bills with just unemployment and my dwindling savings. That's where I met Rich.

Let me just say that I was completely repulsed by Rich. He was tall, white, and I kept picturing him wearing Abercrombie & Fitch shirts, though work attire was business casual. Still, he just looked like every frat boy who walked the earth. He seemed mildly smart, a slight chip on his shoulder when it came to authority, obsessed with doing crossword puzzles, and with a giant Asian fetish. Let me point out that I've come to the conclusion that more than half the men in New York have some kind of Asian fetish.

Rich mostly talked to the Asian girls, simply being polite to the rest of us.   We had quite a few Asian girls: Japanese, Korean, Chinese, and Fillippino.   He'd take every smoke break with them, flirted with them, and went out after work with them. All this completely infuriated me. After all, why can't guys give us all a chance. Though in general I have issues with guys going out with me or other girls simply because of our ethnic traits (I include white girls in this as well because I remember a lot of Black guys in college going out with white girls only. Some then talking bullshit about white girls when amongst other minority students.)

So, I spent weeks seething over Rich's behavior.  When finally I opened my eyes and realized that me spending this much time hating him MUST mean that I actually liked him. That was the end of me!  After that, I couldn't even look in his direction much less at him. I was 11 again, if that old. I then made the huge mistake of telling the two girls around me about my torturing crush. These two girls knew each other from before and generally talked about everyone. But me being 11 again (at work at that!), I swore them to secrecy. They were my new allies, who not only were nice, but like good friends of mine then encouraged me to pour my feelings out, unless I didn't have the courage. This was the trigger, me being a super competitive person who always brags about having bigger balls than most guys.

I waited my time. I kept turning to look at him, when no one was around in the one room they had all of us working. Finally, I found him in our little cafeteria place, alone. Because I had to prove just how ballsy I am, I just did it. I told him I liked him. He looked at me, a bit dumbfounded. He said nothing, that I can remember.

I felt good, but still, I wasn't sure what to do now. So, I talked to my best friend who told me I should do more than that, but flat out ask him out for a drink, then I'd know for sure. So, again I waited, and waited. Until I saw him go to the cafeteria, and like the stalker I was, I followed him. I again, did the whole smile thing, and asked him out for a drink. He politely, and with a very mortified look on his face, said no (I forgot his exact words, but that's the gist of it).

I was cool with it, I was even happy. I liked him but didn't, something very weird and odd like that. I just can't explain it, it's some girl disease or something.

Alright, so I was cool with it and told my confessed allies. We then had some work get together thing, where my "allies" and "best friends" proceeded to tell everyone about my having told Rich I liked him, and flat out make fun of me. I found out because this other guy, who then tried to get in my pants, told me - but that there's another story.

Needless to say, I've never even considered dating anyone else at work (this is a lie, I liked this other guy later on but that just never worked out).