my mom brought up the age old question

"So you're not going to have kids huh?"

I thought she had give up on the idea, but I guess she hasn't. It's really funny.

The interesting thing is that this time I answered her honestly, without being defensive, sarcastic, or annoyed. I told her I don't think so. I explained to her the following things: I like my life. I don't want my life to change. I don't want to spend money on a kid. I want to use my money on myself. I want to travel freely. I want to hang out with my friends freely. I want to do whatever I want. I'm selfish, and I know it. I also know that children are a choice, so why would I choose something I know would change my life in a way I don't want it to change. I have a dog, and the nurturing I give to her is enough, at least for now.

I don't know if I'd choose to have children even if I got married. I have no innate desire to pass on my genes. At that, if I get married, I'd like to enjoy my life with my husband. I'm very big on the idea that you should get married to someone whom you love emotionally and physically. I'd like to have sex many many times - a day. That's how much I'd like to desire the person I'm with. If things cool down and it drops to just a few times a week then that would suck, but it's still better than what I hear from my married friends. I mean, kids kill sex lives. You can't do it anywhere but hidden away in the bedroom, and quietly. How boring! I'd get married to be happy with this new person, not to bring another life into this dog-eat-dog world. It's not even that, I mean I don't think the world is a horrible place and we shouldn't bring kids into this world. Not even close. On the contrary, I think smart people should have more and more kids (but they're usually smart enough not to have many), since usually the dumb and uneducated people are the ones that have lots of kids. I'd hate for that movie Idiocracy to come true.

Still, everyone I know who has kids. Well, I'm not sure having kids has been that great for them.

For example, most guys I know with kids then have the issue of: having the kid with someone they're not married to and don't like. Having a kid with someone to whom they're married to but now would love to leave but will never leave because of the kid. Either way, it seems like such a trap.

On the other hand, the women I know are all devoted mothers, to the extent I sometimes think it's not that healthy. What I mean is that their lives are consumed by their children. They can't see how their lives are basically simply that - their children's lives. I'm dreading the day when these kids grow up and these women are stuck at home alone. The sudden realization that your life just walked out the door to college, or whatever, and has no interest in even calling you.

I just don't like it. I see it, from the outside, and I just can't buy it.

Take a look at this New York Mag article on how miserable most parents are. I glanced at the cover of the magazine about 2 hours before mom brought up the "baby" topic. Funny huh?